One shy MIL

All pictures are courtesy of googles.

My first mother-in-law(MIL) was a very shy lady. When I first joined the family, I tried to make a small conversation with her only to find her talking in monosyllable and then dashed off to the kitchen on one pretext or another.

One Ramadhan in the 80’s, my late X (Al fatihah) and her two sisters and families went back to Alor Setar to celebrate the Eid with their parent or my parent-in-law. As the Eid was still a few days away, the husbands of two SIL went out visiting long-lost friends/ relatives or attended to other businesses. They went out in the morning and came back a short duration before the time for breaking of fast or ‘buka puasa’. The three sisters would be busy preparing the house for the Eid or exchanging news.
FIL would be busy reading the newspapers and reciting the Book, whereas MIL would be busy with the household chores in the morning and preparing food for ‘buka puasa’ in the afternoon. Yours truly ended up, a ‘free roamer’ having ample time with little or nothing to do.

After competing for a glimpse at the newspaper with FIL, I tried to make myself useful to my MIL (partly because FIL would be reciting the Book and three sisters doing womanly things together, it took too much effort for me to join in). I ended up following my MIL every activity, helping her de-husking the coconut, grating the coconut flesh, preparing the fire, kitchen and what-not. That 2 or 3 days helping my MIL in the kitchen ended up with MIL getting a little bit comfortable to talk to yours truly. This, however, did not go unnoticed.

One of my SIL confronted my MIL (jokingly) a day after the Eid, “Ooih Mak ni bila dengan suami saya, mak tak cakap sepatah pun, bila sampai tang si Sharif tu, mak bukan main lagi.. bergebang sakan” ( Ooih Mum, when my husband is around you did even speak a single word, but when it come to that Sharif fellow, mum talk like a long lost friend.. like there is no tomorrow).

“Ooi, aku nak buat lagu mana, si Sharif tu dok ikut aku tang mana mana.. dok tanya itu, dok tanya ini, tolong sana , tolong sini ..apa aku nak buat dia nak tolong. Sampai aku terpaksa sembang dengan dia. Laki hang mana pernah lekat kat rumah dan kalau bercakap dengan aku pun bukan pernah lebih dari 5 patah.. lepas tu aku naik malu aku pi ke dapoq.. (Ooi, what can I do, that Sharif followed me everywhere, ask this and that , help here and there.. whatever I wanted to do he wanted to help, until I no longer feel too awkward to talk to him. Your husband has not been in the house too much and if he talks to me, it would not be more than 5 words before I feel embarrassed and ran off to the kitchen..).

So every time I came back o Alor Setar I made it a point to help my MIL in her kitchen. My MIL could not get over her shyness as far as sons-in-law are concerned. When she has a prolonged sickness (something to do with wrong medication for diarrhoea), she specifically sent out words that she would be very embarrass if I were to see her in her condition, then. Unfortunately that health problem brought her to the end of stay on this earth. Her passing away saw me taking 10 days leave to accompany my FIL.

Sleeping after Subuh prayer and Nail-clipping

Pelita Ayan image from google

I remembered some 40+ years ago, waking up at the melodious voice of my late father “mengaji” between 4 a.m. to 6 a.m. He has to recite the Al Quran from memory as the light from “pelita ayan” powered by kerosene is not strong enough for him to read The Book. He will be reciting the Quranic verses while performing his morning stretching, which at times took him 1 to 2 hours. Sometime I would wake up as early to accompany him, using the pelita ayan to do my home-works. He would only allow me to accompany him if I promised not to attempt to sleep after the Subuh prayer. He did not explain much as to why I should not sleep after the Subuh prayer.. It was my mother who has made some attempt to explain it to me saying in her thick Trengganuspeak “orang dok tidor lepah Subuh.. ka’at rizki” (people do not sleep after Subuh prayer.. it discourages sustenance or provision).

Last Saturday, I sent a few SMS to a fellow Muslim an hour after Subuh. Just when duration of Subuh was about to finish he called me to provide answers to my queries and worries. Satisfied that I understand the situation perfectly, he finished the call telling me that he and members of his family would be doing his routine.. sleeping after Subuh … My not so sharp brain was out of focus then..Oh why not .. after all it is Saturday!.

After a while.. I recalled, this friend here has been doing business for some 15 years.. however good were his proposals / working papers.. Other opportunistic bystanders seem to be benefiting from them (proposals / working papers).. while he slogs on.. having to struggle day-in and day-out to make ends meet. 15 years is quite a long time to struggle and this last 12 months seems to cap it all.

Another SMS seems to be the order of the day.. my SMS to him reads :
“I had been prohibiting my children from napping after solat Subuh.. For there is a saying that sleeping after Subuh is not encouraging rizk (sustenance or provision ).. Unless you are not well.. I am not about to change my stance” .

Late that evening, I received another call from him still talking about business at hand.. to end up saying that he has told his grandson that from now on there will be no more sleeping after solat Subuh .

I have four Chinese families as immediate neighbours(one on each sides, in front and at the back) with my house sandwiched in the middle.. Two families are familiar with my habit of sleeping late and woke up very early. May be I talked too much about the virtue of waking up and starting the day early, or perhaps I made too much noise in the early hours of the morning or maybe they were trying to beat the traffic, my Chinese neighbour staying to the west of our house went to their “kedai pakaian” di Pasar Chow Kit before 6 a.m. After the first week , they came back and reported that people who sell clothes in places as far as Seremban has frequented their shop in the early morning hours as they can go back to Seremban early to open their shops. Few months later, coincident with the fasting month, they told me that they has rented the shop besides theirs and they were then running a 2 door shop operation.. 2 years later they came back and reported to me that they were running a 3 door shop operation.. For quite some times my better half and yours truly did wonder why was it that particular neighbour always gave me clothes for Baju Melayu and her for Baju Kurung for Hari Raya for some years.... until my better half told them that I bought a 7 year old Mercedes E230 cash (pssst.. by virtue of reaching 50 yers old.. yours truly did have some withdrawal from EPF for that E230).

Another Chinese neighbour (husband and wife) , which are staying to the north have been seen to leave their at 6 a.m for quite sometime now, thank to the good word of that successful neighbour. They operate a motor car workshop somewhere in Puchong. Their workshop is in a rather obscured place not easily accessible and they have been surviving by words of mouth. Words get around that they are doing very much better now as many motorist dropped by at early hours to have their cars repaired. The customers like to come to the workshop as their working hours will be least affected.

I could not figure out why is it that it is easier for some non-Muslim to practice the tradition, hadith of the Prophet, as compared to our Muslim brothers. You can see it in our daily life.. Malay foodstalls selling food for breakfast open up their business very much later than the Mamak and the Indian.

It was the other day that my better half told me a story about her brother’s best friend. This guy was frequently being reminded by his mother not to clip/cut fingernails at night.. cos she said the one who clip/cut fingernails may meet “bloody demise"(mati berdarah). However that guy always brushed off his mother telling her how come you (his mother) are so superstitious, still believe the ancient stories.. I am not sure whether there is any Prophet tradition that forbade us from clipping/cutting fingernails at night.. but the guy coincidently met his demise in a very bad motorcycle accident. Googles only produce documentation that relate this to superstition.. May be it is..

Motocycle accident image from Google

Should any reader of this entry found any hadith on prohibition to clip/cut fingernails at night and prohibition of sleeping after Subuh prayer; you are very welcome to quote it in your comment to this post.. Please!
Many thanks to Yohteh's for his comments which include ...Malay readers are urged share the readings .. on clipping fingernails .. here and on sleeping after subuh ..here

Have a wonderful day..

Iktikaf and Open Air Raya Lunch (updated)

Blimey! I seem to have corrupted some of my CPU.. I have been racking my brain to remember the details I heard some umpteen years ago on things we have to do to achieve the reward of ‘Umrah. I was keen to remember this as I was reminded the other day in a surau nearest to my home to iktikaf after the Fajr prayer until Israk and to perform 2 rakaah of solat sunat Israk.

If I remember it correctly, there was a friend (may be more) of prophet who was lamenting to the Prophet (pbuh) that the Meccan (those who stayed in Mecca) can performed umrah on daily basis, should they wish to do so.. whereas he who was staying in Medina could not do the same..then come this hadith..

According to Ibn Maajah: “Whoever purifies himself in his house, then comes to the Mosque of Quba’ and prays there, he will have the reward of ‘Umrah.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1412.

Mosque of Quba'

The story does not stop there.. The Grace of Allah extend to those who are not in the two holy cities of Islam.. as there is another Prophet’s tradition which meant “ +- Iktikaf in mosque after Fajr prayers until Israk time (7.30 to 8.00 a.m.) and perform 2 rakaah of solat sunat Dhuha, the reward will be equal to 'Umrah”.

Wallahu a’lam.. (Kindly correct me if I quote wrongly).. Some ustaz said that there is a chance that there is NO solat sunat Israk ..

I notices 1 or 2 pensioners stayed at the newly completed Sungai Udang mosque in Kuala Dungun until about 7:45 a.m. most mornings save for the Idilfitri . My Kudos to those who have the time, guidance, patience and will power to make it a point to do the solat fajar iktikaf and the solat sunat Dhuha on daily basis.

I enjoyed a rather light snack before solat idilfitri, hariraya cookies and tapai pulut wrapped in " daun jambu laut". After the solat idilfitri and two voluminous plate of nasi dagang (specially prepared by my other half, the preparation start in the evening before for the “ gulai ikan aya” and at 4 a.m. for the nasi dagang) , my family of four went to Seberang Baroh , Kuala Trengganu and spent the whole day paying respect to my mum, my elder sister’s big clan and visiting relatives. Late Idilfitri evening saw us visiting my sister-in-law in Rhu Bathil, Kuala Abang.

Yours truly and the Nasi Dagang

The second raya was planned to be sort of another big day for us in Dungun, Nasi Beryani Klang has been gazetted (there was no circular , sakela in Trengganuspeak , being distributed to announce the event ) to be the special lunch menu and close relatives as far as Gua Musang has been informed . It was supposed to be sponsored by another sister-in-law and her husband, as you can correctly guessed, came all the way from Klang to arrive in Sungai Udang Dungun in the wee hours of that second day Idilfitri.

Preparation started as early as 4 a.m. although we have to wait for our sponsor (to wake up from their after Subuh sleep) to make that special nasi Beryani Klang . As the wait became a lil bit long for the children, we have to improvise available stools and tables to be the place where the youngster can spend their time to play, or would you prefer, vent their impatience.. outside the busy kitchen area. When the time came for lunch, everybody was so comfortable to be in that space, that we decided to have our lunch there .. The stools, tables and the space were insufficient to place for everybody present at one sitting, but then .. the children said it is going to be fun…

First let the ladies fill the plate with Beryani rice

Now we can not wait to fill in the delicious fried chicken

Now why are the children taking so long to finish their lunch?

Consuming hot Klang beryani in equally hot afternoon has induced the art of "berlengging"

Even the sponsor have to take a back seat!

Please forgive my feeble attempt to hide my lack of time to update the blog.. have a good days ahead..