Saturday, February 4, 2012

Story from the past

Tomorrow will be the Maulidurrasul, birthday of Prophet Muhammad, the last Messenger.. I would like to write down a story from my grandfather on the subject of “taking care of parents” as told to me my mum.

The Holy Quran says,"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23).

Abu Hurairah, a companion of the holy Prophet, has said that "a person is indeed disgraced, who does not earn Paradise by caring for his parents during the life time and old age of his/her parents".

In the Holy Quran, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the following verse: "And say, My Lord, Have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I was little".

We normally go to PokDe Renek sundry shop in Kampong Pulau Ketam half an hour before sunset and would reach his shop just a few minute from sunset after a leisurely walk on a small sandy pathway. There was a 100m stretch, between Duyong Besar and the bridge that demarcated Kampung Duyong Besar and Kampung Pulau Ketam, that we have to walk in between thick undergrowths.

PokDe Renek would normally closed his shop at sunset after he has finished dealing with the customer who came before us.. He would close his shop before attending to our need.. I guessed he did not want us to be embarrassed as we were taking a loan for our food items and perhaps set precedence for other village folks some of whom were equally poor.

We would have finished our “purchase” some 15 minutes after sunset and would rushed back to our grandfather’s house in Kampung Duyong Besar, where we were allocated a room there. Granpa was known as Che’ Him Tukang (carpenter), Che’ Him Cermin (mirror/glass) as his house has the most glass pane windows on the island) and Che’ Him jangok (smartly dressed) as he “selit” his sarong like the ladies do as opposed to kilas, the way the men used to wear the sarong).

To the outsiders, my father did not fare too badly as we stayed in a big house.. but for the fact that my father work for pittance as an apprentice carpenter. There were times that we pay our zakat fitrah in the evening of Aidilfitri as opposed to a day before.. as money collected during Aidilfitri by my siblings will be used to pay the tithe.. I believed for most of my childhood, our family was qualified recipient for Zakat but was not considered as we stayed in a big grandpa's place.. but my mum did recalled that we have received zakat once when our close neighbour became an Amil (a person qualified to collect zakat fo the Government).

Ah too much intro.. my apology.

On one of those trips back from PokDe Renek sundry shop.. we stopped to take a breather at a big tree stump.. I remembered very well that particular evening.. my mother has my sister (four years my junior) on her “dukung sisi” (carrying my sister on her side) and a basket in her other hand grip... I was about six then..

She recounted my Grandpa story from that old tree stump. There was an old man that has lost his spouse and his ability to walk for quite some time. He has many children that could not keep their father in their houses for long without having some nagging and perhaps harsh words from their spouses.. So the children keep on shifting their father from house to house taking turns to take care of “the old man”.
Picture from Uncle Google..
As there was no other way to carry an old man in the old day except to put him on your back.. one of the old man son did just that and has to stop at a tree stump to take a breather after carrying his father for some distance.
The father told the son “I used to stop at the this same tree stump when I carried your grandpa to your uncle’s place”
“Why do you have to carry grandpa to uncle’s place” queried the son
“Ah your late mother was not happy to have your grandpa with us for a short duration of time” the father replied.
The son immediately lifted the father and carried him back to his place instead of carrying him to his sibling’s place. When queried by his unhappy spouse, the son said “I do not want to repeat my father’s previous actions and my children to follow my footstep “..
Have a nice weekend to all and have Happy MauludurRasul and a nice long weekend to my Malaysian readers ;))

17 comments:

ninotaziz said...

Now this is a story (a very real story) of One Thousand and One Arabian Nights proportion. It broke my heart, a reminder that I am very lucky my Mum is still with me and a constant guide, and very meticulous editor too to my work!, in all I do.

Oldstock said...

Salam Ayoh Wang,

Very moving story indeed. Perhaps if I can share a similar story, part of which I have written about in my blog. My father-in-law is a bedridden old man. When my mum-in-law passed away, the immediate issue that cropped up was who to take care of the old man. A meeting of the siblings was held and some interim solutions were proposed. This included putting up the old man temporarily in a nursing home until a maid can be found. The final solution being considered was for the old man to be taken care of by each of his sons and daughters on a rotation basis. I didn't agree with this idea, but being just an in-law, I kept my mouth shut. I could not imagine having the old man being transport in and out of his children's home every month. In the end, two of his daughters took up the task. The sons are happy to give excuses...

I pray to Allah that I do not shirk my responsibility when it comes to my own parents and that my sons would not run away from theirs.

Cat-from-Sydney said...

Ayoh Wang ni bakpe buat entry sedih ni....both my pawrents have lost theirs so that's why we spend time at old folks home. Sedih tau tengok the uncles and aunties abandoned by their own children. Kenapa seotang ibu boleh jaga sembilan orang anak dari kecik sampai besar tapi sembilan orang itu belum tentu dapat menjaga seorang ibu di hari tuanya? Kita tak suka manusia macam tu. purrrr.....meow!

R.A.S said...

A very moving story..
Which reminds me of my trip back home just last month. I went back to Malaysia and left my husband alone in Ruwais so I could take care of my mother who had a heart attack. I am lucky I did just that...even luckier that I have a husband who is supportive and understanding.

It may not have any relevance to your story, but I am lucky my mother is still alive and I had the opportunity to take care of her be it for a mere 26 days.

mamasita said...

Salam Wan..you make me cry with this entry..thanks for the keinsafan.
Even though they're gone, I'll doa more for them from now on..tqq..sedih2! :(

ieda said...

salam kenal juga dari saya
tkasih sudi singgah
singgah2 lah layie .. ;)

rindunya hati ini... said...

Salam semua..
Kepada Oldstock terutamanya: Mengikut syariat, menjaga ibubapa tatkala mereka berkeadaan uzur atau kurang upaya atau seumpamanya, hukumnya adalah wajib atas anak-anak lelaki dan sunat hukumnya atas anak-anak perempuan. Bagi anak-anak lelaki yang tidak menunaikannya, akan terhutang nafkah, bagi yang enggan/mengelak daripada menunaikannya adalah berdosa dan tetap terhutang akan nafkah tersebut.

Wallahuaklam.

MULAN said...

moga kasihsayang & tanggungjawab kita pd ibubapa kekal abadi hingga ke akhir hayat mereka..

moga mereka (ibubapa kita) sentiasa dilindungi & dirahmati.. mau yg hidup atau yg telah tiada..

Wan Sharif said...

Salam Ninot,
You sure know how to use beautiful words.. Hard to believe.. but I am flattered all Gthe same ;)
We are lucky to still have our mother with us.. A mother that is interested in helping you and has been your guiding light in all activities.. Heaven-sent..
For being so kind a friend, I am going to relate to you my personal experience.. (not sure if I think I should delete this part after you have read it)..
When my father was still around I told my siblings.. If you want to kiss or hug your parents and want to ask for their forgiveness... do it while they are alive.. Do not ask me to delay their burial when the time come.. Just so that you can kiss their forehead...
So when my father passed away in Jan 2010.. Sure enough my adopted brother who has been with us since he was ~8 months old.. Asked me to delay the burial.. I did not agree.. End up both of us not being in time for the burial.. After all early burial of the dead is one of the three things that a Muslim is asked to do beside to perform solat at the earliest possible time (awal waktu) and to get married as soon as conditions permit.. WALLAHu a'lam

Wan Sharif said...

Salam Fathil,
Amin to doa.. No one will shirk the duty to look after one's parents if one believes in Allah and hereafter and know that part of responsibility.. May Allah guide us to his Pleasure..
Thank you so much for sharing you personal experience with me and my blg's readers.. I have shared another part of my experience above ;)

Wan Sharif said...

Salam Angelina,
I did not mean to make you drop your precious 'air mata'.. I believe I will cry buckets if I got to accompany you on your tour of many oldfolk homes....
On your question... Mmm we raise or take care of our children so that they live.. We take care of parents.. To die.. Said a teacher at my mosque..
Remember assyayatin( the devil) has made his promise to ensure humankind will deviate from their main purpose.. A promise made to Allah.. Maybe assyayatin will make bad deed beautiful in the doer's eyes..
May Allah guide us to His pleasure, maghfirah and rahmah sokmo sokmo...

Wan Sharif said...

Salam Puan Rosfida,
Glad to have you back and syukur Alhamdulillah On the improving health of your mum.. And to have an understanding Mat Apis ;)
Your sharing of your personal experience is very relevant here. I am glad to know that you have been chosen to look after your mum when she was in need..
I was choosen to look after MIL and FIL when they were sick and at the time before theu went to see our Creator.. But did not get the chance to look after my father in his last days..now my sister got the exckusive right to take care of my mum.. She refuses all my advances.. ;(((. I share my other experience in my comment to Ninot above..

Wan Sharif said...

Slam Puan Huda..
Yes we can still do something for parents who are no longer with us..
The was an ustaz who said we can give sodaqah, doa (inclusive of solat) etcetera to enlighten the burden of the dead that we need their forgiveness...
may Allah guide us to His pleasure, maghfirah and rahmah.

Wan Sharif said...

Salam rindunya hati ini..
Terimakasih kerana turut menyumbang pendapat dan pandangan..Semuga Allah membimbing kita kepada Redha Allah dan rasul...

Aishah said...

Thank you for the story and for the story of your father and family. I pray my children will be anak-anak yang beriman dan beramal soleh continuously.

Wan Sharif said...

Amin, amin ya Rabbal 'alamin semuga kita diselalu di bawah bimbingan Azza Wajalla selalu dalam menguruskan tanggungjawab kita kepada ibubapa kita yang tercinta..

Wan Sharif said...

Salam Aishah,
I shared with the hope that one day my children would read all the entries and comments and will want to seek Allah's pleasure maghfirah and Rahmah..
May Allah bless our children with His guidance and may we be grouped as " muttaqina imama"
i do miss your entries .. May Allah give us enough time and ideas to succeed as a muqarrabin.