Monday, April 18, 2011

SilaturRahim(Familial relationship) Part 2

Abul Laits Assamarqandi narrated by sanad of Abu Ayyub r.a. said: "A Bedouin stopped the Prophet Muhammad and has the control of his camel in his hand and said:" O Messenger of Allah, tell me what can get me closer to Paradise and keep me from the fire? "where upon the Messenger of Allah answered:" worship God and do not associate him with anything and perform your daily prayer and give zakat, and nurture or establish familial relationship/ties of kinship."

Rasulullah s.a.w. said: "There is no act that can gain the rewards more quickly than that of improving family ties and no sin worthy of his wrath as well as hasten his doom in the world and in the hereafter as that who broke the family relationships and committed injustices.’

Ibn Umar r.a. said: "One who the fear of God and established contact with one’s families will have one’s age be added to and one’s assets multiplied and will be loved by his family."

Abul Laits said: "If a person is close to his relatives, the familial relationship is in the form of guidance and visitations, should financial assistance be impossible then it suffice to provide physical assistance; Correspondence through mail although sufficient should distance be an issue, personal contact is more encouraged.

Anas said: "Three kinds of people who will lie under the shade of Allah on the Day of Judgement:
· Those who nurtured ties of kinship will have a blessed life, spacious grave and gainful sustenance.
· One who took care of woman with orphans left behind by her dead husband.
· People who prepared food and invited the orphans and the needy.

Al-Hasan said: "Rasulullah said:" The two strides of men loved by Allah : Footsteps towards the obligatory prayers and Footsteps towards silaturrahim with people you cannot marry.

The Five people who multiply their good deed and have gainful sustenance are:
1. People who always charity (a little or a lot)
2. People who nurture/maintain familial relationship.
3. People who are always pursue the Cause of Allah.
4. People who always performs ablution and not wasteful on water
5. People who are obedient to his parents.

When I was in financial distress through activities or events that were totally beyond my control, I normally called my parent to ask them whether I have done anything that was not too pleasant to their feelings. After a few times doing that, they came to notice my enquiries and asked my reason for it. I told them that my sustenance has been without much ‘barakah’ and many untoward events keep on happening to make me loose whatever little saving I have made.
I asked them for their forgiveness inspite of their insistence that I have not done anything wrong to both of them.
Only lately do I realize that someone close to my family has not been too kind to me when discussing my activities to my parents.

Here is a story that I treasured as the main characters are rather closely related to yours truly..

Once there were three siblings led by an eldest sister and two brothers. The two brothers have not been on good term and the elder brother has forbidden the younger brother from coming to his house. The elder brother has been a good man, well respected and well loved by all in the community unlike his younger brother.
When the elder brother was on his deathbed, the younger brother came to visit him daily but did not enter the house much to the indignant of his nieces and nephews. The sister did not come to visit as she was upset about the fact that the two brothers were not on speaking term.

Photo is from Mr Google

The elder brother suffering prolonged for a few days and his children came to see their aunt thrice daily to persuade her to visit their father and forgive whatever mistakes he has committed to her. It was only at the insistence/persuasion of her own daughters that the elder sister changed her mind and visited her sick brother.
She has, however, insisted that the elder brother forgive his brother and that he be allowed to visit him on his deathbed prior to him speaking to her. When her condition was fulfilled, it came to note that she was not happy with the sick brother for he has not visit her for quite a long time even though the distance between their houses was less than 200 meters and she was quite unhappy with him over a lot of other small things and events.

She then told the crowd that she was not keen to forgive her brother even after a few hours of persuasion from the children of her brother.

On seeing that her uncle was having a lot of difficulties, the daughter of the eldest sister persuaded her mother to give her forgiveness to her dying brother. After about an hour of much crying and grieving, the sister relented and forgave her brother. Few minutes later, the brother has breathed his last much to the relief of everyone that were present.

I am of the opinion there are two things of note between the three main characters:
1. Silaturrahim has not been fostered/ nurtured/ established.
2. Eldest sister replaced the mother that has passed away and her pleasure can amount to as much as that of the mother.


May you have many nice and rewarding days ahead.


Cat-from-Sydney said...

Ayoh Wang,
That is a sad state of affair among the three siblings. Wish the eldest sister had been a bigger person in accepting her brother as he was....and tried patching whatever it was between the two brothers. Life shouldn't be that complicated, non? And what should have a family affair became public knowledge. Jadi bahan umpatan. What a shame. purrr....meow!

Wan Sharif said...

Dear CfS,
It has not been a public knowledge as the crowd there then were children of the sister and the dying brother.. The children have more or less known their parents(siblings) disagreement. The sister has managed to get the two brothers reconciled and has herself forgiven the dying brother..
The wounds ran very deep .. I did not have the heart to elaborate further.. suffice to say that has it not been the Mercy of Allah .... it might have complicated the fate of the dying brother in the hereafter.
It has not been bahan umpatan and the moral of the story.. foster and nurture silaturRahim and take special care of your elders.

Cat-from-Sydney said...

Ayoh Wang,
It's so sad when siblings are at loggerheads. We've come across families where siblings use black magic on each other. There was this one makcik who was made (kena buatan) that she couldn't sleep a wink for seven years. All because of berebut harta pusaka yang sekangkang kera. Sayang, they are not even redha of hukum Faraid that has been ordained. Greed reigns supreme over silaturrahim. purrr...meow!

Wan Sharif said...

Now.. that a very sad thing to happen.. for if you are not happy with what He has ordained.. He has said +- do find another universe or earth to stay..
May we always be reminded to berbaik sangka, berbaik niat, berbaik cara, berbaik hati dan berbaik baik sesama Makhluk Allah {ha! that includes felines as well :) }

Nin said...

Sir, I too am aware of how our parents' 'redha' is important to us. I make it a point to always seek their forgiveness whenever I see them and salam their hands. I believe our wellbeing in life (and hereafter) is proportionate to how much they approve of us. But just like yours, they like to insist that I haven't done anything wrong when I know that I had done lots!! hehehe!

I also make an agreement with my partner that whenever I salam his hand either after solat or before he goes to work, to consider that as my seeking forgiveness from him (so that I don't have to say it in so many words everytime!) and he too declares that it is given everytime. That small act alone helps to keep my conscience clear!

I hope never to be at loggerheads with any of my family members ever. InsyaAllah.

Wan Sharif said...

You got me all teary eyed with your comments on our parents...
It does not help anything or anybody to be at loggerhead with anyone.. life is such that we need those close to us.. our neighbours and close relatives.. to be around to share our trials and tribulations..
May seeking Allah's pleasure be our main intention always..
See that youare stationed in Miri now.. Miri ah.. nostalgic Miri..

Coffee Girl said...

That's tragic... for something like that to have happened. nice narating, by the way.

Wan Sharif said...

That happened some 20+ years ago.. and involved people who are not very well informed and rather in need of formal education, in a place that did not have much room for communication other that by elaborate visitations.. with some ego involved, things can get out of control at times.. but that not the main aim of my narration of story. It was there to emphasize the importance of silaturRahim or ties of kinship.

Tanamera Kayu Ara Spa said...


Thank you for this kind post. May we always be reminded and guided to the right path.

Salam dari Tanamera Kayu Ara Spa

Al-Manar said...

I truly believe you qualify as one ptactising a lot of silatur rahim.

Wan Sharif said...

Wa'alaikumussalam TKAS,
Thank you for your visit and kind comments. I noticed that the blog belong to the spa.. Now how do I address you?

Wan Sharif said...

Abang Hassan,
Hopefully whatever we do.. Allah cast His Blessing and Rahmah.. and should our efforts be not up to the mark.. His Maghfirah.
Thank you for your vote of confidence.

Lee said...

Hi Wan Sharif, I enjoyed reading thru, especially of the siblings and their lost love between brothers and sisters.
It is sad these happened as well still happening today all over.

I know of a family, the brother has not spoken to his sister past 30 years, all due to some family misunderstanding.
You stay easy, have a great week.

DrSam said...

Assalamualaikum Ayoh Wang. Thank you for sharing this priceless life experience of yours. It is sad to see siblings have to succumb to this inexplicable relationship. It is there for us to learn and take iktibar.

Have a nice and blissful day Ayoh Wang.

Aishah said...


Sometimes we do not realise that we worship Allah but we forget our relationships with others especially our kins, when keeping and nurturing relationships and doing charities are our ibadah, and obeying His commands.

May we always be guided to the right and true path, the path that pleases Him.

Thank you Wan Sharif.

Wan Sharif said...

Mr. Lee,
Thank you for stopping by. Could not gain access to blog at office.. have limited time at home as MIL's helper ha to be sent home.. hence late reply to you kind comments.
These siblings and friends misunderstanding has always been source of unhappiness.. with unyielding super-egos.. situations can be rather difficult to improve..
unless simple not-so- "common sense" prevailed.
Have a nice week ahead in North America..

Wan Sharif said...

Life is as such.. if we do not go back to "saranan agama" to treat devil as or enemy.. to do things for redha Allah.. in obedience to Allah and His Messenger.. there is a strong chance that we will be led astray..
May Allah guide us to His Pleasure Sokmo2.

Wan Sharif said...

Amiin to your supplication, Aishah.
HablumminaLLahi wa hablumminannas..
you got it right there ..
May seeking His pleasure be one of our intention always..

ninotaziz said...

This is a reminder ... that is so desperately needed by all. For what is life, and love without anyone to share it with?

Wan Sharif said...

Dearest Ninot,
Like Sherry (who commented on most of your poems) I found your words touched me so profoundly and made me feel so appreciated..
Psst.. I went home to see my mother and elder sister to find that my relationship with them all these while are not so rosy after all.. somehow external elements has put my mothers feeling under some strain and it took me a few hours to put it back on track.. but the price of that according to my sister.. My mother would miss some sleep tonight.. but the consolation is that a long term strain has been averted...;)))